CHAPTER II - LOVE

WHAT is LOVE?

The word 'LOVE' is believed to be all around us; it is found and is constantly used in different contexts in life. Song writers use it to make hit single songs. Author use it to write best selling novels. Directors use it to produce award winning films. While at home parents love their children, likewise their children loves them. But what does the word actually mean?

The most popular subject in the word is what we all call 'LOVE', however, we never really quite reach the bottom line of what the word truly means and is usually poorly defined by people. In the beginning of all things, it is believed that a man and a woman was created out of love, therefore, we, as men and women should know the significance of this subject in our daily lives, in order to interact and relate with others.

Love is actually a mystery to most people, because most of us never realize the true potential or value of love, nor do we learn to practice the art of love. A man or woman's continuous search for affection and care from others, is a very good example and proof of people's need of love. When this need is filled, contentment is achieved. But it is not easy to achieve this kind of contentment, because we must still have the courage to accept our failures as lovers.

LOVE or INFATUATION

Love or Infatuation... Now that's a tough subject to discuss. Usually, people mistakenly go on a wrong way for not not understanding clearly what each of them actually means. Love to infatuation and infatuation to love, where of course the outcome would be, only one getting hurt and the other one ending up confused. But how do you actually determine which one is which? By how you feel? I don't think so. Sometimes feelings may deceive a person to think that he/she is in love, when in fact they're just infatuated.

I got to think about this a lot of times, basing it on my self-experiences, analyzing every situation i ever encountered one by one and then the answer just popped out. Plain and simple. It's actually the action of a person towards the other would determine, in which division you belong to. What actions you may ask? I could say that it would be in terms of self-worth and the worth of that certain counterpart to you. Jealousy, self-centeredness and non-sacrificing acts would mean infatuation. In love, you may and for sure will be faced with a lot risk that real sacrifices are required and each risk would resolve to something... beautiful.

Now I say, choose and think wisely guys and gals, it's not everyday you'll find love by your side, you'll never know you lost it even before you got a grab of it.

LOVE HURTS

Love usually strives in hurting. People say that when you get hurt, that's the time you learn how to really love. To tell you the truth, love doesn't actually hurt all the time, though it's still there sometimes to test you and help you grow, but of course with that, it doesn't also mean that after all the tests, you'll be forever happy, there's no promise on that I assure you; sometimes all love even provide is pain and misery rather than the joy and happiness that we always hoped for. Yet we are all frequently blinded by the strong emotions that we have for that certain person or thing that we fail to see reality. Then in the end, sometimes letting go is the only answer to everything, and believe me, it really hurts like hell, but you'll soon realize that it's better for that person you love to be happy being themselves or with another person, than being with you. We have to live in reality rather than fantasy people; you can't finish a book without closing its chapter or film a movie without an ending. If you really want to go on and live a happy life full of love, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages of your life.

But hey! Guys and gals, cheer up! Let me tell you something. Don't find love, ok? because you might end up hurting, so, just let it find you. Sometimes I even wonder why people even bother searching for it when at times it's just there waiting for you. You just have to be patient and have faith because there's always somebody for someone in this world, and it comes in what most people call, "GOD's perfect time". That's why they call it falling in love in the first place, because you don't actually force yourself to fall, you just do.

Rediscovering The Lost Iceman In Me (edited)

“Life... it’s funny how you think of life, your life and how and why you ended up what and who you are today, sometimes some happenings are even too good to be true that when you thought about it, it just seems to be a like dream you had the other night.” These are the things that came through my mind before I started to write this blog while sitting in my room looking out the window thinking of something to write just to let the time pass by. Then right there and then I remembered the long gone part of me... right there and then I remembered Iceman...

I grew up in a world surrounded by cars, as a child everything I have from bed, clock, phone, bedroom displays to toys are all cars, I even have a Porsche body soap (it was a limited edition soap by Marks and Spencer on the 80’s), imagine that. I love looking at them especially sports cars; I love memorizing their brand and model and sometimes even their specifications and hell I’m fond of taking pictures ‘on’ them (I have quite a collection of pictures to be honest), I’m a real car addict for short. When I was growing up, I have always believed that cars were made for show-off, customizing them for displays and show it to people and happily watch them envy you. But when I started driving at the age of sixteen (16) my perception about cars changed, especially when I started racing at about 18 years old or so, I slowly realized that cars weren’t just made for show-off, they were actually produced to perform, to run as fast as they can, that’s why sports cars such as Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche and my all time favorite the Ford Mustang Shelby were made with a V8 or V12 engine making an output of 500 to 800 horsepower (HP), because if these cars were made only to show people whose looking that you’re driving a Ferrari or whatsoever luxury sports car you have, then they should have made these cars with a 1.1L engine running around 40 to 60km/hr the fastest like the Kia Picanto, right?

Now Iceman... the name I was once called, never can I forget how I got that name, but sometimes I wasn’t really sure if I do deserve the name since I never passed it to another like how it should have been. It wasn’t my nickname of course, it was just actually passed on to me by my mentor, the one who taught me everything I know about racing; the brake works, the shifting, the handling and the stunts, I was trained to be fearless, to push every car I’m in to the limit, because as every Iceman’s motto “Life’s Too Short Not To Be Extreme”, I loved every aspect of racing though I was not recognized from the dark tinted windows, I never cared.

Life was good to me, walking out from some major wrecks unharmed, I was lucky, but still never did that hinder me from racing, I kept on going till one day I met a girl, the girl, it was actually against our principle to love, “we don’t need girls” as we always say, because it ruins our ability to drive, we gain fear, but I never believed that, I went on with what I believed was right for me, I loved that girl and I proved them wrong... that was before we got too attached with each other, and there started the end of Iceman’s legacy, I actually feared for my own life for the first time, I remembered looking at my side mirror and got scared when I saw that I was almost at the end of the cliff racing somewhere going down from Antipolo, that never stopped me before, but now it did and as I go on, I gained more and more fear in racing.

I stopped for a while to think about everything, then it came to me when I was looking at my girlfriend, telling her about my life’s (Iceman) story, she smiled at me, giving me the sweetest smile ever and held my hand not saying anything. Silence went by a moment then I said “I’m quitting” I told her, I realized then that there are a lot of things more worth doing than racing like loving someone to the fullest, then she gave me a hug and whispered “don’t race again or I’ll leave you, ok?”, then without thinking I agreed.

My day actually started like any other normal day, work, school, home, however while I was walking home the other day, I saw my neighbor’s car parked outside their house, it was a white 2000 model Honda Civic SIR, he was giving it a rev, letting people hear how loud his car was since he got this bad-ass muffler, then upon hearing it, I told myself, “STOCK!”, it wasn’t even set-up for racing, it was just all for show-off, cosmetic for short.

When I sat down at my table at home getting my laptop ready as I always do, I thought about what just happened, how I knew it was stock, then everything just flashed back to my training days, my old life, then it just came to me from nowhere, “Life... it’s funny how you think of life, your life and how and why you ended up what and who you are today, sometimes some happenings are even too good to be true that when you thought about it, it just seems to be a like dream you had the other night.” These are the things that came through my mind before I started to write this blog while sitting in my room looking out the window thinking of something to write just to let the time pass by. Then right there and then I remembered the long gone part of me... right there and then I remembered Iceman... Then I realized, Iceman wasn’t really forgotten at all, it was still inside of me waiting to be unleashed one again.

I went to the car after all the thoughts that gave me the weirdest chill in my life, sat at the driver’s seat, held the wheel with both hands tightly gripped, inserted the key and started it, I gave it a bit of a rev; it actually felt good, it felt like heaven on earth. I went several rounds around the block, heating it up, then I thought to myself “do I still got what it takes to be the old me?”, so that thought made me want to try how fast can I still go.

I decided to really push myself to the limit after having a word with my friend over the cell phone asking him the fastest record from Balintawak exit to Subic entrance (via the new highway to Subic, SCTex), “the fastest run was I think 55.26 minutes” he said. I laughed, “That slow?! Bet I can do it less than 50”, I said, then the deal was on that if I make it below 50 minutes it will make me win a reimbursement of all my expenses in doing the run; gas, tires, toll fees, even the car wash is included, who can say no to that right? So I went on with it, running at 240km/hr I got to Subic entrance 44.54 minutes after exiting Balintawak exit. Then from that run I realized while sitting at a gas station inside Subic having the car refueled, I have rediscovered the Iceman in me, living the life I left before, now even better!